hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
