girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
