You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
