you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
