Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
