it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
