he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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