Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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