explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
