Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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