Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
