When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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