i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
