Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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