We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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