I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
