I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
