He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
