i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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