HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
