Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You have to summon your inner elephant
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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