you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
