No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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