Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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