do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
