Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
