I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
