Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
