I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
