You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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