My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
