when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
