I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
