Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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