so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
