Where is the hickey?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
