apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
