We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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