And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
what day is it and did you see me today?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So many bounce houses so little time
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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