Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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