its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
