I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
