Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
