Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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