I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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