If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
