he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
