Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
