Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
