Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
