they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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