If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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