Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
