I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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