I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
