I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize