I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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