Barsexuality is the new black.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You're like the curious george of whores
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
