I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
