Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize